• ew. some stuff that happened.

1. Math- new seats. I sit next to John... the big kid, and Ryan Decker. I know that John is failing math. Ryan is really weird, but he can be smart sometimes. TEst today, was so hard. I had to leave one blank because I don't know how to find the area of an equilateral triangle, when I'm only given the length of a side.
2. English Shakespeare presentations. ROFLMAO. pink as in flower? Oh, she's so lame! hehe. I noticed that some people act really oddly. Harsha, romeo at balcony scene,omg. He did GOOD, but like it was perfect. I kept cracking up because... he would never say stuff like that sincerely. And ARjun has this WAY overly dramatic voice, like WHERE the HEAvens SHOULD this ROWWW-me-OH be?CAME he NOT home TOnight? hahah.
3. GOSSIP GIRL FINALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GODDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh, chuck and blair got together =) yay. they are soooo hot together. ugh, then they separated. Ben isn't eVEN GOod-looking. somethine about his hair bothers me. I love chuck+blair, but its so stupid how everyone is blaming everything on bart. bart is awesome, i feel sorry for him about lily and rufus. anyways he was actually congratulating chuck, saying he was proud that he has an actual girlfriend and will learn commitment. chuck got scared on him own. whats chuck bass without his women... =/ "i'm chuck bass". and omg, GEORGINA! i LOVE her!!! sarah looks like her. OMG LOL!!!! I JUST REALIZED, HER ALIAS IS "SARAH". wow. i hate how quickly the whole thing was resolved, but im not really mad cuz she will be a season 2 regular!
4. I got The FIve People You Meet in Heaven. ITS SOOOO GOOD!! The name margeurite sounds like Margarita... I think there was a antm10 semi-finalist with that name... yeah, she was like "i admit i have a  crush on myr. jay manuel". it was sooo funny. omg, when stacy-ann gave mr jay a "lap-dance"... that was HILARIOUS. doo doo doo doo doo... anyways, 5 people.... so awesome. mitch albom is a genious...
5. ew. i read twilight and new moon. it sucks. i mean it was okay.... but way overrated. usually when i read a book that i choose to read... i stay up until i finish it. these books were.. ew. another thing, i think its so gay how nobody reads for pleasure in this grade. its like, if they do, they're ashamed of it. wtf? reading is FUN. god. anyways, i think edward would look weird. he would look better with black hair, i think. well, there's one redeeming factor to this retarded series: CEDRIC IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Today, i sketched the cutest thing ever!!!!! making it default!!! close-up:

TOday is my mom's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only she doesn't like celebrating her birthday, so we didn't do much, we just got a cake. happy birthday mom!!!!!!

xoxo,
clara_thediva

UGH. THE PLUS SIZED FAT ASS MODEL WHITNEY WON.

"a plus-sized model will never be on the cover of vogue" as Renee oh so eloquently said.
No, I don't hate whitney BECAUSE she is plus-size.
Its because she won BECAUSE she is plus-size.



anya. was so robbed. 





We all know that tyra has realized she is the biggest girl at the victoria's secret fashion show. SHe has played the "plus size girl" card throughout the series. ANd now to give her show credibility, one wins. Ugh, an un-modeleque, untalented, fat girl. 
In the final runway show, Anya's dresses were all very confined, whereas Whiyneys were flowing. This was to make it harder for Anya to walk and make Whitney look like the star. 

ANYA WAS NEVER IN THE BOTTOM TWO. ONLY TWO OTHER CONTESTANTS, JASLENE AND JOANIE, DID THAT BEFORE.
WHITNEY IS THE WINNER THAT HAS BEEN IN THE BOTTOM TWO THE MOST TIMES: THREE.

Ugh, I hate this. But I can be comforted by the fact that no one in the fashion industry takes the title of ANTM seriously, and it actually will damage your modeling carreer. Anya will actually become more successful. 

I mean, look at cycle  7 winner CariDee. Her major accomplishments are attending the opening of bars and a cameo in Gossip Girl, same network as ANTM. Melrose, the runner-up who i loved, is working on her ownfashion line and is definitely in the top 15 most successful ANTM girls.

WHitney is a joke. Her portfolio is horrible. 
ALTHOUGH WHITNEY GOT THE TITLE, ANYA IS THE REAL WINNER!!!!!!!!!

xoxo,
clara_thediva.

haven't posted in a while. ew, i have been so busy with : a) english essay (i'm done now) and b) s.s. notetaking (so stupid that we're being graded on that. I have become a lot mroe aware that the job i want in the future will have people read this. So hi Mr. Internet Investigator. Pick me! I am really smart and responsible. =) And, you are really cool. I think you are pretty and young-looking. =)

so, interim grades are due on tuesday ew.
French- i will end up with 93% ish.
Science- ugh, failed everything.
Math- ummm probably about 87% =(
English- I think I have about 90%
History- If I do well on my notedbook, about 95%. 
Heath- 110%, no joke. I have 7 points extra credit... O.o
Band- 95 % duh. 
Home Ec- umm 95% ish.

HAHA. LOOKING HORRIBLE. EW. UGH. GOOD IN ALL THE CLASSES THAT DONT MATTER. well actually not bad. 6 A's. 1 b (math). and 1 more b, or a C. ugh, science. Mr. Moy is the worst  "teacher" ever. I hate him. He can go burn in a ditch. <<<< haha laura haines said that today. about ryan.

on the bright side, i'm turning everything in for band. so i will prbly go to toby's straight-A field trip and everyone will think i am a genious straight-A student =D. Id love that. 

I'm excited for Hershey park next friday =D HAHA. STRING STUDENTS DONT GO. ROFL.

i g2g work on my history notebook. I missed so much stuff. I'll probably just ask pingfan tomorrow. haha, btw today bidisha and kavya were fighting over pingfan. lolz.

xoxo,
clara_thediva

Hahaha. J

1. Lunch- people were crashing our table. Matt, Ryan, and Srikar came over. Matt had this really gross squishy apple that he kept on playing with. He threw it at Frank. Then Frank threw it to Nick Hawthorne, who was at the table next to us. Nick threw it back at Frank, but he missed and it landed behind our table, where the lunch ladies were cleaning up. They noticed and started yelling at Nick and Matt. Then, they made our whole table stay behind, even though most of us didn’t even do anything. Mrs. Debbie was like, “I take it very seriously when people throw food in the cafeteria!” Yeah, probably because you love getting fat…
2. Health- haha, I got a 100% on the Drug Unit Test!!!!! I was so proud when Ms. Sica called my name. “Clara Ting, congratulations, you got one hundred percent”. It was just the greatest feeling ever. Don’t do drugs, guys. Then, after the test, we had to do an interview about internet safety. It was really awkward. “Does your screenname have any part of your real name in it?” “Are there pictures of you online?” Haha, I kind of lied in some parts.
3. English- we got assigned groups, characters, and scenes for Romeo and Juliet. My group is: Me, Adip B., Eryn Davis, and Anna Kearns. It is an okay group. But doesn’t it strike you as a bit of a coincidence that of all the group assignments we’ve had, I have never been with Bidisha, Lucy, or Sandia? Anyways, we are Act I, Scene I. It is the part where Sampson and Gregory are talking, and then Sampson bites his thumb, then people start fighting. I wanted to be the Prince, and, I got what I wanted. Prince Escalas is the Prince of Verona, and he breaks up the fighting with a long monologue. It is his only line, but it is fifteen lines. It is also the last line. I want to bring in my tiara for it. I already have it memorized: (I swear, I didn’t look): Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace / Will they not listen? What ho! You men, you _____. / To ____ of torture, from those bloody hands / Throw those mistempered weapons to the ground. / And hear the sentence of your moved Prince. / Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word / Of thee, old Capulet, and Montague. / Have thrice disturbed the quiet of our streets. / If ever you disturb our streets again / Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace. / For this time, all the rest depart away. / You, Capulet, shall go along with me. / And Montague, come you this afternoon. / For farther ______ story _____ , / To _____ of death, all men depart. Hahaha, okay, I guess I haven’t really memorized it. But it is pretty good. So here is the real thing: You men, you beasts. On pain of torture. To know our farther pleasure in this case. Once more, on pain of death, all men depart. Pretty good, huh? =) The real monologue of course is much longer. She left out 9 lines.
4. History: we got all period to research. It was so fun. You know the school doesn’t block gMail, which you can get on aim from. Lol, Pingfan got on SubEthaEdit, and Mrs. Meares was on! She didn’t notice though. It was so weird, all these random kids were on, like Bradley Benson.
5. So in English, we also continued watching Romeo and Juliet. We got to see when Mercutio fought Tybalt. I have to say, I was extremely disappointed in the casting of Mercutio. The actor was so old! But the acting was pretty good. The film did leave out all his wonderful sex jokes. As promised, here they are:
   • First of all, his character profile: “A kinsman to the Prince, and Romeo’s close friend. One of the most extraordinary characters in all of Shakespeare’s plays, Mercutio overflows with imagination, wit, and, at times, a strange, biting satire and brooding fervor. Mercutio loves wordplay, especially sexual double entendres. He can be quite hotheaded, and hates people who are affected, pretentious, or obsessed with the latest fashions. He finds Romeo’s romanticized ideas about love tiresome, and tries to convince Romeo to view love as a simple matter of sexual appetitie.”
   • And so I will start with the quoting: “If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.” Translation- “If love plays rough with you, play rough with love. If you prick love when it pricks you, you’ll beat love down.” Mercutio is suggesting that Romeo cure himself of love by having sex
   • This first part isn’t sexual, but I LOVE it. “Romeo: I dreamt a dream last night. Mercutio: As did I. Romeo: And what was yours? Mecutio: That dreamers often lie.” Then, the next part, right after it: “Romeo: In bed asleep while they do dream things true. Mercutio: Oh, then, I see Queen mab hath been with you.” Translation: “Romeo: They lie in bed while they dream about the truth. Mercutio: Oh, then I see you’ve been with Queen Mab.” Meaning: “Quean” is slang for whore, and mab is a stereotypical prostitute’s name.
   • “Benvolio: (calling) Romeo, my cousin Romeo! Romeo! Mercutio: He is wise, And, on my life, hath stol’n him tome to bed.” Translation: “Mercutio: He’s a smart boy. I bet he slipped away and went home to bed.”
   • “Mercutio: If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark. Now will he sit under a medlar tree and wish his mistress were that kind of fruit as maids call medlars when they laugh alone. O Romeo, that she were! Oh, that she were an open arse, and thou a poperin pear.” Translation: “If love is blind, it can’t hit the target. Now he’ll sit under a medlar tree and wish his mistress were one of those fruits that look like female genitalia. Oh Romeo, I wish she were an open-arse, and you a popperin pear to “pop her in”. Meaning: The medlar is a tree whose fruit was considered to look like a vulva or an anus. The fruits were often called “open-arses.” Popperins are Belgian pears; Mercutio uses the name in an obscene double entrendre.
   • “Romeo: Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy. Mercutio: That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams. Romeo: Meaning “to curtsy”? Mercutio: Thou hast most kindly hit. Romeo: A most courteous exposition. Mercutio: Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy. Romeo: Pink for flower. Mercutio: Right. Romeo: Why, then is my pump well flowered.” Translation: “Romeo: Excuse me, good Mercutio, I had very important business to take care of, It was so important that I had to forget about courtesy and good manners. Mercutio: In other words “important business” made you flex your buttocks. Romeo: You mean do a curtsy? Mercutio: You’ve hit the target, sir. Romeo: That’s a very polite and courteous explanation. Mercutio: Yes, I am the pinkflower- the mster, of courtesy and manners. Romeo: the pink flower. Mercutio: Right. Romeo: Well, then my pump is well decorated with flowers.” Meaning: “important business mad you flex your buttocks” Mercutio is implying that Romeo’s business was sexual. You’ve hit the target= sexual double entedre. Pink flower= female genitalia. Pump= shoe and penis.
   • “Mercutio: For this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole. Benvolio: Stop there, stop there. Mercutio: Thou desirest me to shop in my tale against the hair.” Translation: “Mercutio: This love of yours was like a blithering idiot who runs up and down looking for a hole to hide his toy in. Benvolio: Stop there, stop there. MercutioL You want me to stop my tale before I’m done.” Meaning: Toy= a double entendre for penis. Hole= vagina. Tale= a double entendre for penis.
   • “Nurse: Is it good e’en? Mercutio: ‘Tis no less, I tell you, for the lusty hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.”

So now I have shown you how disgusting William Shakespeare actually is. By the way, I found a really depressing site called Romeo and Juliet: where the cast is now. http://www.danahuff.net/?p=208 it is really funny. All of the cast has gotten… disgusting.

Gossip Girl tonight! I probably can’t watch though… I’ll catch up another day!

xoxo,

clara_thediva.

yesterday I went to the library and checked out all these random books that I stayed up all night reading:

1. Fly on the Wall- I thought this was going to be pretty good, because its about this girl who turns into a fly and lives in the boys locker room at her school. But it was horrible. I thought she would find out what guys talk about and stuff, but she ends up just finding out what penises look like. She called them “gherkins”. And she made up a report card format for butts, and looked at which guys got A+. It was so weird. I definitely recommend you not read this book.
2. Forever in Pants- Finally, this book was available. I hated that Lena ended up with Kostos, he is so retarded. The character of Leo was so random. I hated that Bridget cheated on Eric. This book was so predictable. As soon as the pants were gone, I knew that Effie stole them, and they weren’t getting them back. The character I hate most is Carmen, because she is a baby. She is fat. Now I am biased from Gossip Girl, and don’t like Bridget in the movie that much. Because I hate Serena, stop putting on your good girl act.
3. Uglies- I’m not done reading this. I hope that Tally betrays Shay, because Shay sounds so stupid. I think that Spaghetti Bolognese thing is hilarious.

I love that we didn’t have school on Friday. It was like: rest, school, rest, rest. J

So we watched Romeo and Juliet today in school. Mrs. Seas was our substitute. OMG, she was Andreas’s mother. Her accent was so cool. Apparently the next day, we will get to see Romeo’s butt and Juliet’s boobs. Ew. They are 13 and 16. Was it okay to lose their virginity at that age at that time period? and juliet actually wanted to. That is sick. I have a “modern day” translation of the play, I love it. Mercutio is my favorite. He makes a lot of sex jokes. I will post some tomorrow. My brother wants to use the computer… later.

xoxo,
clara_thediva

Ugh. So boring. Leaving soon for freaking TaeKwonDo, ew. Ugh.....

1. Science MSAs. It was pretty easy, but I wasn’t sure on a few of the questions. We had a lot of time, so everyone just messed around with their highlighter tool, drawing pictures and writing things. Ted Kuligowski drew “I can’t believe its not butter!”. Random...

2. Lunch. Ew, this little sixth grader was invited to sit at our table by like, Kanami and Christina. Everybody was like “aww, he’s so cute!” Okay, everyone at my table is like blind. Tiny puppies are cute, bunnies are cute, Lucy’s brother is cute, but THAT KID was so not cute. He was like korean,[not being racist, just helping you picture him] and his hair was light brown. It looked disgusting,  He dyed it; his eyebrows were darker than his hair. I hate this on guys, it looks nasty. Two examples: Zac Efron and Chase Crawford. They both have girly highlights in their hair, and dark brown eyebrows, yuck. This quality is a girly man feature. Real men , do not color/highlight their hair, like silly little girls. Along with the gross hair, the kid had oversized nostrils. Not to mention that he acted like a second grader (“Hi....” * waves *... and repeats that every ten seconds).

3. History class was such a drag. My group for the table activity for slaves was: Me, Rose, William, Pingfan, and Nikolai. My group for the debate was: Me, Rose, William, Ram, and Nikolai. So basically we traded Ram for Pingfan.  I was so bored
   

After school, Caroline Imed me asked me for advice. She told me that Christian Owens had asked her out, and she needed a way to politely decline. I told her the obvious: Tell him you forgot you had other plans. but i was thinking... um, do u just want me to know that a guy asked you out? the same guy that went out with laura couch with he was in 8th? like, wow. Then she said that Dr. VanDerBeek is really inappropriate, like Mr. Moy. She also said that once, Mr. Moy told her friend that plays volleyball to wear a thong with spandex. She said that there is a couple in band who basically have sex, and Dr. VanDerBeek lets them. He also told the band that his highest paying job was playing background music for porn. And he said he had performed for strippers before.

I hate TaeKwonDo so freaking much, it sucks. So last class, I told one of the instructors “You’re so DUMB!” because he pushed down on my knee, and it hurt my toe, and my toenail had fallen off just the day before. Then he got mad at ME for calling him DUMB. Please, that is such a weak insult. I was almost going to say retarded, so you should be glad. So, now I am shunning all of my instructors except one. This one: He hurt my toe, and he is obsessed with touching me. Black dude: He was swinging a kid around, and his foot hit my jaw, and I bit two holes into my tongue. Ugly Pimpley: (he probably quit because of me! Haha!) He kept on being ugly and pimpley and fat right in front of me. Yeah, at TaeKwonDo I am the only girl above 10 years old, so all the guys are soa nnoying. Like one time, this indian guy Hamza was behind me, and he just suddenly loosely hugged me. When I gave him my go rot in hell glare, he was like “ what? You weren’t making a straight line!”. God, I hate TaeKwonDo so freaking much.

Wow, I loved today. I have no homework! 
Highlights of my day:

1) MRS. LANZ THE LOSER WAS OUT! To truly appreciate this, you have to understand that she is equivalent to one of those mean girls in junior high. The one that sleeps with all the guys, which explains her obsession with Mr. Mac. She tries to be manipulative, but honestly, she is not smart enough. She makes it way too obvious, making herself a target for revenge. She is so stupid. She told Bidisha's parents that I was a bad influence on her, then moved me across the room. Her little plan backfired; I have so many friends in French class. So, today the substitute teacher let us turn on the radio while we were doing our "work". You will find out more about that tomorrow. =)

2) Mrs. Weinstein was out, and she left almost no work for us to do. I really hope she separates the tables soon, because I am getting sick of Arjun and Harsha. They are so stupid. Harsha: his dad does his homework for him. well thats what i heard. So Bidisha's dad is friends with someone who works with Harsha's dad. And that co-worker told Bidisha's dad that every day, Harsha's dad has to leave work early to go home and do his son's homework. Arjun: Today, we had to write on overhead transparencies. I didn't want Arjun to write, because he has messy handwriting, but he didn't listen. So, as "recognition" of a prepositional phrase, he wrote "begans with preposition". He is so stupid. Then, as an example, he wrote "on the stret". I was like, "Arjun!... you spelled "street" wrong" and he claimed he wasn't done writing, even though he already wrote the "t". They're such idiots and perverts.

3) Home Ec. cooking groups!
Lucy: yay, she was in my cooking group in sixth grade too! It was me, her, Brian, and Mark, kitchen 2. 
Kanami: =) yay!
Steven: he is so dumb... "don't have food fights because you could make a mess"
Ozzy: he gave me gum, so I will be nice to him.
It sucks that we have 5 people,  our "portions" of food will be smaller, and I LOVE the food we are making this year. Fried rice, baked ziti, and Italian wedding soup. For the last two years, I have gotten away with not washing dishes and not cleaning up. Looks like I will be okay this year too, Lucy and Kanami

4) We had a test in math. It was the first time that Mr. McDonald used the same type of problems as the ones in the book, so I probably did okay. There were 2 I guessed, but they are probably close. I looked at the programs on the calculator I was using. Man, whoever created the program "snow" was really stupid. When I ran the program, the snow fell sideways. I know it can be done correctly; it was on another calculator. 

5) We had a quiz in Health on the drug Ecstasy, and I got 11/10! I got 2 extra credit points because I knew that the real name is MDMA. I got one of the effects of Ecstasy wrong, I put down "brain deterioration". I learned that there's something called "water intoxication" where you can die from drinking too much water while on drugs. I think whoever does drugs are retarded. They should go die, and they probably will. Drugs are just stupid, except for medicine. Although I'm scared of medicine, except for ointments and cough drops. Pills freak me out. 


This is the love letter to Mrs. Carothers Kanami and I made up in Math last year:

Dear Mrs. Carothers,
          I am writing this to tell you how beautiful you are. Your eyes are like pools. Cesspools. Your nose is as cute as a button. A belly button. Your lips are like petals. Bicycle pedals. Your ears are like flowers. Cauliflowers. Your mouth is like a cherry. They're the pits. Your teeth are like stars. They come out at night. Your face is a millions dollars. All green and crinkley. You have the best body I've ever seen. On a hippo. Wanna go out with me? Love, Anonymous.

We put it in Mr. Heinlein's calculator bin. It was there for about a week, and then it disappeared. I wanted Mr. Heinlein to find it and put it on the board and read it aloud to the class. 

Well, my family's older computer broke, and my dad has to fix it. So we only have two computers, and one of them is so ancient. It sucks, now everyone is fighting over the computers. Anyways, I'm going to go recruit people . I'm talking to cheeerio <3 now. 

xoxo,
clarathediva